the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
