Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
