Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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