he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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