try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
