i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
