Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
