I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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