Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
