Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
