He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
