oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
