We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
