Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
