i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
