I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
