I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize