Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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