i barfeds in our rink
You can't special order awesome
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
