You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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