my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
