I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
