was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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