don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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