I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
