Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry elbridge12 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(240): View more from Maryland

shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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(812): View more from Indiana

Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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(415): View more from California

How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"

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(315): View more from New York

A bitchslap is in order.

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