You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize