One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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