Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
