i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm like, not good at living.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
