If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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