i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
