DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
