I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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