Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
