So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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