I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
