Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
