Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
high people should be assigned attendants
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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