the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
