I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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