I got chris browned last night
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
