i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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