I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
