I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
