Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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