HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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