he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
