He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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