Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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