Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
