I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
