everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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