I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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