possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
