Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
