apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize