Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
