Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
