were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
