I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
