You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
