i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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